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Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Boundaries, Blogging and The Future

After a very quiet few weeks, I'm back :) To say I'm back denotes the possibility of having been away, I have not. 
A couple of years ago, a friend recommended a book to me entitled Boundaries. The first chapter was very difficult as it resonated all too clearly. Rather than read on, I put the book down. A few months ago, I once again picked it up. It has been a slow read as I can only digest so much at one time. If by chance you have difficulty with setting boundaries in your own life, I do recommend the book. But be warned, it is from a Biblical point of view. 

Two and a half weeks ago, I received an email asking for something more than I could physically do. My initial reaction was to try and figure out how I could make it happen. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. I had not established boundaries and more and more had been heaped upon me without any consideration for me or my time. After taking a few days to contemplate what I should do, I sat down, wrote a letter stating the facts and that I could no longer continue. As difficult as it was to write the letter, I was amazed by how free I felt once the note was sent. 
A week ago, someone whom I greatly admire was suddenly killed. He simply took one step off of a curb and within an instant, his life came to an end. In recent years he had written some of the most poignant and thought provoking plays I have ever seen.  Had he known that one fateful step would be his last, what would he have done differently? Not taken that step of course, but what did he leave undone?
So, I've needed to be quiet in order to give myself time to think and decide what I want and how I want to spend my time. What I know is that I want to spend more of my time, digging in my garden, painting, writing, and most importantly, spending time with my husband. 
Over the last 3 1/2 years, I have poured my heart and soul into this blog. There have been wonderful things like the pillowcase project. What an amazing journey it was and I so appreciate the effort of so many of you who helped to make it come to pass. I've loved receiving notes from those of you who have been inspired to take the plunge into a little pattern drafting. The Free Pattern Friday and the Sleeves on Saturdays posts are a passion for me and I am happy that I have been able to pass on a little of my knowledge. But it has also been a frustrating journey. The little bit of success I have had does not begin to compare to the rejection that I have also received.   
I am not saying goodbye, I'm just slowing down, slowing down and allowing more time for other passions. I still plan to do the Fabulous Free Pattern posts, in fact I have one ready for this Friday. I also plan to do Sleeves on Saturdays and I will check in with other projects, but it just won't be at the same weekly pace I've had in recent years. 
Thank you for the inspiration that you have been to me and in turn, I hope that I have been able to touch your life in a positive manner and inspire you.
Sincerely,
Rhonda    



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71 comments:

  1. Rhonda,
    Each blog post is a joy to read and contains a wealth of information. You've got to be exhausted with the daily posts! Gardening is wonderful therapy for the soul. I wish you well.
    Kathy

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    1. Thank you Kathy :) I really didn't realize how exhausted I was until I stopped. There have been a number of nights over the last few weeks where I fell asleep by 7:30!!!

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  2. Welcome back and on your terms. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, so each day is a present and precious and we need to make the most of every second. You have been an inspiration and will continue to be an inspiration to us, as hopefully we can be to you! Think the world you and will be like an old friend where you can pick up where you left off and catch up.

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  3. Rhonda I'm so glad that you have worked out what you want to do and I understand completely. I will always be following you, so any time you post I will be reading, sorry I haven't commented as much, life gets in the way.

    Do take care.

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  4. I understand completely. I'm happy to know that something hadn't happened with your health! Of course, exhaustion can be considered health. I have just recently learned that a good friend from my high school days probably has just a few months left. I spoke with her last week and I hope to see her next week. Learning that news has put me in a "thinking, sorting, and confused mood." Each day since that conversation has felt strange. I would love to get in the garden, but our monsoons here have prevented me from even starting one. That's something I generally enjoy, but not this spring.

    You are special to me and I'm sure many other blog readers out there. I've often wondered how you did it all, but have been thankful that you were able to share so much. Please take whatever time that you need/want. Enjoy life and family. Stop and smell those roses--they deserve it and, most of all, so do you! I'll look forward to hearing from you when you can and want to share, friend.

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  5. I finally came to the conclusion a couple of years ago that I blog for me...not for my audience. But then, my audience is pretty much just me and my mother, so maybe I'm just being realistic! ;-) The day you blog because someone is expecting it or because you feel you'll disappoint someone if you don't is the day blogging stops being a joyful sharing and becomes a job. There are some folks who like doing it for a job...but if you have a life away from the computer it can suck that life right away from you. Do what you love...blog when you feel like it will make you happy to share something.

    I know I'll be glad to see a post whenever it happens, and not fault you for living life away from your keyboard. That's what we were meant to do, after all... ;-)

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  6. TOTALLY understand. Don't know HOW you do all you do. My SIL read that book years ago. I asked her about it and she said, "YOU don't need to read it!" LOL. I learned when I was a lot younger how to say, "NO!" Only YOU know where to draw the line, but you must draw it. I'm so glad you did. Big HUG from me, and pat yourself on the back for the wealth of information and teaching you have shared with the entire world!
    Please feel free to email if you ever want to talk or call.
    Joy

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  7. Oh, I agree with everyone -- when it begins to exhaust you it is time to reassess. I so appreciate all the work you've put into this blog and am glad you will still be sharing, but at your own pace and for your own satisfaction. Spend that wonderful time with your husband and in your garden -- refresh yourself!

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  8. For heaven's sake, slow down to light speed! Seriously, I will echo your other commenters and fans and wish you the best in doing what is right for you.

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  9. I totally understand, Rhonda, and am glad you came to a conclusion that works for you. Boundaries can be hard to set! I want you to know that you have definitely touched my life in a lovely way, from great healthy recipes that I have tried to couture inspirations. Your efforts have been appreciated and looked forward to. I am glad you have made choices that work for you. Life is too short!

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  10. Good for you for taking care of you! I wish you much happiness in the garden and your other endeavours and look forward to reading anything you do post. You have been a great inspiration and I would like to thank you for sharing your sewing and other aspects of your life in your blog.

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  11. Rhonda,
    The gift of quiet reflection is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Slow down the voices so you can hear your own wisdom. Godspeed on your journey,
    I have enjoyed your blog, your stories and your willingness to share. I will look forward to future posts I. Your own time.

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  12. What an incredibly difficult and brave thing to do -- posting this so honestly. I have to admit that I wondered how you kept up with this blog and everything else you do. It seems that running a blog can be much like running a business and what point is there in dedicating so much to a business that begins to burden rather than give joy? Best of luck in your new endeavors. I know that I will enjoy your Free Friday posts and Sleeves on Saturdays whenever you post them.

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  13. Honestly, Rhonda, I was wondering how long burning your candle at both ends as you do would last. Just your daily blogs, I was amazed but lately wondering how long this could last. You are human, a great wife and a creative (used as a noun). Thank God you took off the pressure, are re-setting your boundaries and can breathe again.

    I have read the book you featured here today. It's a two-, three-, even a four-time read, indeed. Nothing is worth more of our time than THOSE PEOPLE within our boundaries. The first One is God.

    Welcome home. You're doing just fine. Thank you for being transparently real. Oh, how we need this today.

    Hugs,
    Kelley~

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  14. So glad you've put your blog on pause to take some needed time to evaluate how this blog fits into the arc of your life. It should be on your terms, terms that respect balance and your need for other things. You are an inspiration to me, and I know I'll enjoy what you share, whenever you do...Cheers!

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  15. I so understand how you feel about blogging - it does become a self perpetuating beast doesn't it? I think doing it in your time frame, when you want to, will give you the joy that you've experienced without the pressure. I may not comment all the time but I do read your posts and will look forward to whatever posts you write in the future.

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  16. Oh of course you should slow down! i am sure I speak for your many many readers in saying that we have enjoyed your amazing pace. But not if its nor also good for you. Thank you for your wonderful generosity and best wishes at just being fabulous and not also amazingly super powered.

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  17. Firstly, I'm so glad that you are well, having realised recently that you haven't been posting.

    Secondly, good for you! Do what you want. You don't owe any of us anything - we have have plundered and taken from you, now it's time for you to sit back, enjoy the things you want to do and I'm sure you will be much more productive and creative without the demands from strangers.

    I shall look forward to your scarcer posts.

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  18. I agree with all that has already been said. Whilst we all enjoy reading everything you post, we wouldn't if we felt it was wearing you down - and it seems it has started to do just that. Step back, enjoy fulfilling the plans you have decided on and if and when you decide to post we will enjoy it all the more for being a rare treat.

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  19. I think many women are in the same boat as you - we were not taught how to set boundaries in our generation. The younger ones are much better! There will be some that don't like your decision, but don't worry about that. You must do what you want to do. I too am making similar decisions.

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  20. I'm sad to read that things were getting stressful, but happy to hear that you found a way to resolve it and find happiness! You are very passionate and I guess that sometimes people can take advantage of your enthusiasm and kindness, but never lose sight of the things that make you happy. I look forward to reading your posts when you feel like writing them, but in the mean time enjoy the other things in life! Xxx

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  21. If it feels right, than it must be the right decision. Glad you're not giving up the blog but I can totally understand. Enjoy!

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  22. Funny how God can sneak into our lives to get us back on track. Technology can be a gift and a curse. It's great when we need it, but it can certainly take over. We will love whatever you post when you post it.

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  23. If it feels right, then it must be. I'm glad you're not giving up the blog. I totally understand you. Enjoy life!

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  24. Good for you Rhonda. Setting boundaries is the only way to obtain and maintain balance in your life. I am very proud of this step. It's takes courage to realize how important you are and let others know.

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  25. I just wanted say that I love your blog, and will read what you have time and energy to write. But make the most of your wonderful husband and look after yourself!

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  26. Rhonda, I am so sorry for your loss. You are an inspiration to all your readers, and we will continue to visit this space regardless of how frequently (or infrequently) you post. You have to do what is best for you. Be strong, and I hope you can find some peace.

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  27. Rhonda, I enjoy you so much. Thanks for your sharing yourself, now go and enjoy life. Your AWESOME my friend. I and mean that.

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  28. Enjoy your time and am sure it's so well deserved. I have always and still enjoy your posts. Your posts have always exuded genuine friensdhip, love of sharing and beautiful garments. Let me not forget your delicious soups and lovely Sunday nite reflections. I'll say it again ... enjoy my friend.

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  29. You are amazing! You have gone above and beyond in giving of yourself to inspire and help us. From the bottom of my heart...thank you! I'm glad you aren't ending your blog, but blogging when you want to because it should be as much fun for you to write as it is for us to read. Blessings!!!!

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  30. I GET IT, Rhonda! I don't do anywhere near what you do and even what I do can really tucker me out! I am glad you are figuring out what is important to you! You know that your blog readers will be happy to see you when you do feel like posting! And remember, it should be FUN or why bother?! xoxox

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  31. Dear Rhonda, you are such an inspiration in creating. Your blog surely has been a full time job. I'm sure it could be turned into several books of ideas. Setting boundaries is truly the best way to get control of your time and enjoy whatever you do. Those 2 little letters, NO, can be so liberating so I congratulate you on becoming friends with them. I will look forward to reading your blog whenever you write and will think of you in your garden enjoying life there too.

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  32. I enjoy reading your blog and think the posts will be even better if they come on your time table as you have the time and energy. Thank you for continuing to share!

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  33. Rhonda Thank you very much for being what you are : generous, inspirational and talented. I am sure you have made a wise and sound decision. I very much appreciate your blog and will still be reading each of your posts to come but the real life and the dearest one to you are what counts first and foremost. God bless you.

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  34. Rhonda, it is astonishing to hear that you've received great amounts of rejection. To my mind, you are so generous with your considerable talents and full of energy. I'm glad you are reclaiming your own life and hope you find it sweet and renewing.

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  35. I had noticed your blog stepping up a notch in quantity of posts and posting of your opportunities that came with it. I wondered how you had time to maintain your creativity with so many demands. Sometimes we need to step back and evaluate if what we are doing is moving us forward or holding us in place, or leaving us dragging. I appreciate the generosity of sewing tips you have shared here and am glad to say I met you once. "Straighten up and fly right" is a good motto. I look forward to continuing to follow what you have to impart. :-)

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  36. Thanks for setting an great example and choosing to live YOUR life!

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  37. Rhonda, I get it, I totally understand. Blogging should be fun and not stressful. I look forward to continuing reading your post whenever it feels right for you to post. Thank you for your generosity and your time.

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  38. Well I have to admit that I'm glad to hear you are only human! I was beginning to think you had super powers. I am sorry to hear of your friend's tragic death, but do hope your life becomes happier after the self examination.

    I have always enjoyed your posts, and am sure that there are many that I will continue to revisit in the future. You have offered this community a wealth of knowledge and I do appreciate your generosity. I hope that you will find the energy to share your creativity again soon.
    -Susie

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  39. I'm glad to read your thoughts and reflections, Rhonda! I was wondering how you do it all! You are so amazing, but you need to come first. Just like your friend, we never know. As far as your contributions, I would suggest making a random contribution whenever you feel like it, not necessarily every certain day or whatever! Take it easy. Life is short. Whenever you're ready, you're much appreciated!

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  40. Rhonda, I understand and am glad you are doing what is best for you. I'll look forward to your posts When you share. Take care. Hugs.

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  41. Rhonda, so understand your need to slow down. I did the same thing about two years ago and my days in the garden are pure joy and enjoying what God has given us to enjoy. I have learned to say no and do what will make me happy.
    I don't have to say much about how you have influenced my sewing life. I wouldn't have flown all the way from California to Chicago to meet you if I didn't admire what you have done for the world of sewing. Thank you for all of us. Here's to you finding your joy in life. I guess you could say stop and smell the roses.

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  42. Hi Rondah, sorry to hear about your loss. Such a tragedy. As for your blog, I was under the impression that you were taking a path to do this full time for your career. To me it came over that way. You took so much on. If that is not the case then just blog as you feel like it. I for one will still be here to read along for when you do post. I don't expect anything but love it when you do share :) If I had more time I would make more items that you post about. But alas with a full time job and a singe mum with one daughter still at home life gets in the way. Best wishes to you!

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  43. Thank you for all you've given. Including setting new boundaries.

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  44. Dearest Rhonda,
    I echo everyone else's sentiments. I happened by your blog sometime ago and have been enchanted, inspired and worked at my very slow pace in terms of the number of projects I tackle through each year.
    Thank you for all the time and energy you have put into your blog and for sharing your skills and talents with us, along the way. It truly has been appreciated and is reflected in all the people stopping by to wish you well.
    I too am happy to learn that you have the health to enjoy this much needed change in lifestyle.
    Take good care and will be extra excited when you pop in to my inbox!!
    Hugs, Marysia.xx

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  45. Hi Rhonda,
    I've been getting a bit worried as you haven't been your normal the last few weeks, so am happy to hear from you.
    I totally agree with you, even though I'll miss your daily gems. you need to do what you need to do. I read that same book a few years ago and it certainly helped me as well.
    I will still love to read whatever you have to pass on as usual, just at a different pace. Just really glad you're gonna be around still.
    Bless you and your family,
    Joyce

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  46. We will read you when you feel like it.

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  47. Thank you for all the blessings that you have given us from inspiration to down right great ideas. You are a wonderful woman, teacher and mentor. Please give yourself a round of applause for making the right decision and I will remain inspired with new postings and reviewing previous postings. You are a pprecious gem, Rhonda and you are in my prayers as you learn how to say "NO".

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  48. Your blog is one of the few blogs that I read religiously. I savor every tip, tutorial, free pattern and words of wisdom. However, I do understand boundaries and sometimes we are reigned in through random events. I'll still be reading.

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  49. Rhonda, I (we) fully support your decision to take more time for yourself and your family. It is something that we all need to do and rarely take the steps necessary to do so. I have complete admiration for you and appreciate the help and support you have provided to me in my learning about sewing and pattern drafting. I look forward to your posts and hearing from you in the future - let us know if there is anything we can do to help you! - Janet S

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  50. Dear Rhonda,
    As a long time reader of your blog, I have to tell you how much I look forward to your posts in my inbox. However, I often wonder about the quality of the lives of bloggers who put out a post nearly every day. It took me many years to learn how to say NO to someone, instead of just saying YES, and then feeling that smothered, overwhelming sense of dread at knowing I could never get it all done or be perfect enough or make everyone happy. Your life and your husband and your garden and your relationships are important! I will be quite happy to see your posts in my inbox, but will certainly understand if it's only once a week. You are loved, your creativity is deeply appreciated and I pray you find peace as you create balance in your life!
    Warm regards,
    Ruth L

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  51. Rhonda, you have been such an inspiration to so many so your success with this blog is something you may not be able to measure. You certainly deserve a well deserved rest with the knowledge that your readers will be there for you when you do post. Losing someone always makes us reflect on our lives and I hope you get from life all that you have put in. You are amazing.

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  52. So many have already stated my feelings - you are a true inspiration , but you need to do what works for you. I have also stepped away from some "obligations " & feel much freer to sew & do what I want. Having lost many friends & family members in the last few years - I hope you give your heart time to heal

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  53. Rhonda, I will certainly miss your daily blogs, but I also totally understand where you are coming from, and agree with your decision on how to spend your time. Your bogs have been inspirational, and through them I feel we have become friends. I will look forward to any and all blogs you do, and hope to continue to see you and talk with you now and then. Be well. Take care. Have fun. Follow my motto: Life is not a dress rehearsal.

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  54. Dear Rhonda,
    Your post really resonated with me as I have been blogging for a little over a year and been feeling a little overwhelmed at times. I admire your honesty and courage!
    I pray you will be renewed and have a peace that passes all understanding!

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  55. It's so hard to put it out there honestly and openly. I've always appreciated your work and enjoyed it. A thank you.

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  56. Another daily reader, although I don't comment as often...We can't do anything fully if we aren't taking care of ourselves!

    ((hugs)) All the best.

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  57. Thank you for always being an inspiration to try new things and extend/expand skills -- this is one reason why I enjoy reading your blog. I totally understand the need to slow down a bit and focus your energies on other things that give you joy. While you may not write as often, I'll still look forward to your posts!

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  58. I admire the way that you live your life on your terms. Your passion and love is obvious. You are one of my inspirations. Thank you for all that you do and give. Light and love!

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  59. Rhonda,
    It's fun being friends with you. I blog when I can, and I love reading your blog posts. I will enjoy our friendship whether you write one post a week or two a year! Thanks for the book referral.

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  60. I totally understand your point and I am with you all the way. A couple of years ago I felt the need of slowing down too and even now that need comes and goes. Thank you for everything Rhonda, for caring about your readers, for the honesty, open hart and for sharing your precious knowledge. Thank you so much for the boost of inspiration every time I visit your blog.

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  61. Wonderful that you were able to do this for yourself. It can be very hard for us to say no to things and set boundaries for ourselves. We all could learn from your example! Thank you Rhonda!

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  62. I am so pleased that you are taking time for yourself,and doing what gives you satisfaction I have been in awe of the consistency of your blog posts and have loved reading them all, Thank you so much, saying no is the best thing that we all could do for ourselves, it is also one of the hardest, Take care :)

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  63. Rhonda, you've been on my mind. Get your hands dirty in your garden, it truly is good for your soul. You are a giver, it's time to give to yourself. Hugs to you!

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  64. I want to thank you for what you wrote here last week. I immediately hit Amazon for the Boundaries book and got started reading it that next day on my iPad. . . . . . But more than that, I want to thank you for the energy and commitment you've put into your blog. It is a joy to read, as I regularly do. Your posts are always inspiring, whether it be something you've sewn or something you comment on. You are a blessing to us all.

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  65. Your blog posts are such an inspiration to me. So many ideas to play around with. I did wonder how you could keep the pace, as well as the sewing. I will continue to look forward to whatever you manage to post, and I do hope that you find your perfect balance and peace of mind. God bless!

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  66. Big Hooray to you Rhonda. Setting boundaries can feel so scary and the only way through it is do what you beautifully did for yourself. I always feel lighter when I get realistic about what is important to me and what I can let go of.
    See you soon in Nashville.

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  67. Thanks for everything, Rhonda. Really sorry for your friend. I am happy you are taking a bit more time for yourself :) And I will obviously still read each one of your posts and be inspired by them!

    http://titesmains.com

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